The cats run the house.
You just live there.
Get a memo from the ones actually in charge of your life.
Five unapologetic cats deliver personalized memos—sweet, savage, or brutal.
No filters.
No apologies.
Just consequences.
Want context before you request one?
The book breaks down:
- the power structure
- the personalities
- and how you lost control
Reader cat Kitty III approves Yes, I Knocked It Over, now available on Amazon.
Choose Your Cat
Bongo — The Muscle
18 lbs of fearless, dog-hating enforcement. Household security chief. Only purrs after a full energetic background check. Perfect for letters that bring blunt truth, fearless advice, and no-nonsense cat logic.
Veah — The Royal Advisor
Emotionally sensitive, dramatically insightful, and quietly ruthless when needed. From nurturing to savage in one whisker twitch. Great for emotional support letters, classy roasts, and heartfelt-but-honest pep talks.
Raleigh — The Fluffy CEO
Regal. Grounded. Dignified. Speaks like a velvet gavel — measured, wise, and devastatingly accurate. Ideal for professional shade, leadership wisdom, or eloquent relationship advice.
Gary — The Godfather
Persistent, overwhelming (in a loving way), and impossible to ignore. Gets results through sheer persistence and emotional persistence. Best for life-changing nudges, guilt-laden encouragement, and never-letting-you-quit motivation.
Invoked for Gentle Support
Feather — The Convert-Maker
Feather doesn’t argue. She converts.
She’s the Council’s soft power specialist: charming, observant, and impossible to dislike — even by people who “aren’t cat people.”
Best for heartfelt notes, milestone moments, reconciliation, gentle truth, and messages that need warmth without the lecture. Feather’s memos feel comforting and oddly authoritative… like a hug that also comes with a quiet rule change.
Warning: She may steal a hair tie while she’s in your emotional business.
The Council has spoken. Scroll down, choose your tier, and let the plotting begin.
Sample Memo
Styled photo elements shown for presentation only.
"Human, we've reviewed your case. Bongo says enforce boundaries. Veah requests gentleness—with yourself. Raleigh recommends a measured reply at sunrise. Gary... will keep following up until you actually send it. Consider this your official memo: you are not the chaos—you're the cat."
What you’ll receive
A custom-written Cats Know memo delivered digitally as a high-quality PDF, ready for you to print or share as you choose.
Your Counsil of Cats awaits. Expertly crafted letters, translated from the whiskered ones.
Need a letter straight from the cat's mouth? Try a feline communication service.
A Directive from the Full Executive Board
When one cat speaks, it is law.
When the entire Board speaks, it is destiny.
This is no ordinary memo or letter — this is a rare joint statement, personally authorized by every member of the Executive Board. Expect a mix of muscle, menace, majesty, and mischief — all wrapped into one decree.
Choose your format:
- Memo — concise, sharp, and delivered with maximum authority.
- Letter — longer, layered, and laced with wit (or scorn).
Few humans ever receive a joint decree. If you do, consider it a rare honor… and a permanent record against you.
Let Your Cat Say What You Can't.